Living with Huntington's Disease

I wanted to write this post, especially for those who are also on their own God journeys as well as walking through the Huntington's disease one too because it is a mountain and will need much grace. I have been through many highs and lows and sometimes it has been hard to see a way forward but God has continued to meet me there in that place.  It has been a long journey since I entered this new place in my faith and there was a point where I was not entirely certain I was going to make it through. It's hard to find a place to begin but I will start where I first felt the trembles of my life breaking apart.  It was in the days of 2021 when I realized that I was probably never going to have children naturally. We had tried for so many years and nothing had happened. The grief felt endless but I also started to feel something new rising within me - mourning. I began to mourn this circumstance in our lives. Every place I walked through was like a constant minefield triggering off

 Grief is like an onion... Just when you think you have peeled back the final layer another one sits beneath it but the onion of grief is full of grace. It gives a chance to process. This is how I have found my journey with Huntington's disease.  I have been grieving since the day I got my positive result. Grieving so many losses has been a process. I was only 20 years old when I got my results, and 19 years old when I took the test for HD. I had no idea what I was opening the door to when I took the test. But I was adamant - I did not want to grieve. I refused. I believed I could continue life as normal after my result.  I had no idea that grief was constantly spilling out of my heart wherever I went and no matter how far away I tried to run from it. I could not escape the pain - it was there.  Suddenly life becomes back to front after the HD diagnosis. Death is what sits in front of you - the end of your life. You see the end - care homes, losing your independence, thinking about